We talked to our 4Youth community members aged 16-24 about their feelings and attitudes towards sex, porn, seeking sexual advice and online dating. We learnt that as 4Youth become more experienced (and get to know themselves better!) they’re learning the importance of listening to their own desires and putting their pleasure first.
63% of 16-24s engage in regular or sporadic sex.
4YOUTH ARE WELL AWARE OF THE HEALTH RISKS FOLLOWING UNPROTECTED SEX
They ensure that when they’re getting down ‘n’ dirty, they’re doing so safely, the most popular forms of contraception amongst sexually active females are…
#1 Condoms – the most popular option with 83% saying that they use them! Nearly all 4Youth males use condoms when having sex.
#2 Contraceptive Pill – 75% of sexually active 4Youth females are on the pill.
AND AS THEY GROW OLDER AND GAIN EXPERIENCE, THEY ARE LEARNING TO ONLY DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR THEM, WHEN IT FEEL RIGHT FOR THEM
65% of 16-24s agree “I understand my body and my pleasure very well”
“Consent and boundaries are key and do not feel that you have to make yourself uncomfortable to make someone else feel comfortable. Sex is for your enjoyment, not just your partner’s” F, Heterosexual
“Take time to understand what I like and how long I can last before exploring too much with my partner. Also try mutual masturbation to comprehend what the partner likes and how we can both be satisfied by sex” M, Heterosexual
While 3/4 have watched porn, only 1 in 10 watch it frequently
4Youth acknowledge there are some BIG issues with the way that porn depicts women and men…
Women in Porn:
- Are thin, hairless
- Are passive, submissive
- Climax loudly and unrealistically quick
Men in Porn:
- Have a larger than average penis size
- Are aggressive, dominant
- Always climax
“All the women in mainstream porn are stereotypically feminine. With long blonde hair, skinny, and obviously fake boobs. They’re all shaved and completely hairless, it’s impossible to keep up with” F, Heterosexual
“The porn I always found was a bit demeaning to women, the men were overly aggressive and dominant, and the women looked a bit uncomfortable” F, Bisexual
When IT COMES TO SEX ADVICE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, FRIENDS, PROFESSIONAL WEBSITES ARE SOCIAL MEDIA ARE THE MOST POPULAR PLACES TO GO TO
1.Online advice – anonymous and speedy way to learn about issues relating to sex, and is therefore often the first port of call.
Circumstance: As a starting point, best sex toys / research on sexual issues.
2.Medical advice – 4Youth only seek medical advice when it is 100% necessary i.e. a serious issue.
Circumstance: STDs / morning after pill etc.
3.Friends – informal and trustworthy source of advice, they provide a safe space to be open and honest about any concerns/ share experiences
Circumstance: Sex positions / expressing worries / contraception advice.
“I looked up whether I should get the coil to reduce pregnancy risk using online professional websites to see how it works and the risk” F, Heterosexual
“I asked a friend for advice about sleeping with girls- it’s not something I’ve done much of and she’s in a relationship with another woman. it was less the specific mechanics and more about just how it feels to be in a dynamic where some of those heteronormative assumptions and roles are removed. I think sometimes I also feel invalid in my bisexuality (because of self doubt not lack of attraction to women) so it was reassuring to talk to her about that in relation to sex as well.” F, Bisexual
FRIENDS, SCHOOL AND TV/FILM ARE WHERE MOST 4YOUTHERS LEARNT ABOUT SEX
Sex education in schools focused on contraception, puberty and reproduction which 4Youth felt was limiting.
They wished they could have learnt about consent, pleasure, queer sex and myth busting
88% agree “Sex education in its current state, is not doing enough to educate young people about safe sex and pleasure”
“I think there should definitely be more of an emphasis on what we should accept and not accept – knowing that it’s your body, your choice, your power, and that ultimately it’s more than just a way to make kids – it’s about pleasure too” F, Bisexual
“Queer sex education! Gender! Consent! Pleasure! The anatomy of the clitoris! Different ways to have sex! Taking the focus off penetrative sex! I’d make sure the sex ed was taught with all genders in one room so that everyone could learn about everyone’s bodies and make sure they’re not going in with misconceptions to the rest of their adult lives.” Non-binary, Bisexual
